


there is thunder in our hearts

by orphan_account



Series: Co-Generals [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: (wow another one so surprising i like doing these now i guess), Character Study, Defining the Relationship, Finn POV, First Kiss, Fluff, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Introspection, M/M, Pining, Zorii and Finn bond over their dumbass pilot, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22283152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Finn waits for Poe to return and muses what could be when he gets back.
Relationships: Finn & Rey, Finn & Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Zorii Bliss & Finn
Series: Co-Generals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603942
Comments: 4
Kudos: 148





	1. tell me we both matter don't we?

Finn watched as Poe shot off into the sky. He knew he wasn’t off to fight in some battle or some recon mission, but the worry in his stomach still lingered. Old habits, he guessed.

He looked around the halls of the big building they were now stationed in and sighed. He wished Poe let him come along, if only because he didn’t know how to run rebuilding a galaxy without him.

“Finn?” he heard a voice at the end of the hall say. He looked to see Rose coming towards him. Beebee-Ate rolled behind her. He beeped his concern. “Beebee-Ate said Poe wasn’t in his room. He tried to find you too,” she explained.

Finn looked down at the droid, “He’s okay. There was something he said he needed to do. He’ll be back soon,” he said,  _ ‘hopefully,’ _ he added silently.

“Well where did he go?” Rose asked.

“I...don’t know. He’s been off lately. Not himself…” Finn trailed, his eyes widened in realization, “and I just let him go off somewhere alone I gotta find him I-”

Suddenly, Rose grabbed his arm to calm him down. Beebee-Ate ran softly into his shins.

“Hey, Finn, it’s okay. Poe will be fine. He’s Poe!” she said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Finn smiled and nodded. She was right, one of the first things he realized about Poe was his inability to sit somewhere for too long. The months they’ve been cooped up on Naboo have been even making Finn’s skin itch, Poe must have been buzzing out of skin to get off planet.

Beebee-Ate beeped a low hum. He was worried and Finn thought maybe a bit sad at being left behind too. He leaned down and gave the droid a tap on his side.

“It’s okay buddy, he told me to take care of you. We don’t need him,” he said. Beebee-Ate beeped back his response. Rose laughed.

“Please you two are just gonna be mopping until he comes back,” she said. Finn blushed and tried to look away from his friend as she gave him a knowing look followed by a wink. SHe then stretched and gave a big yawn, “I’m going back to bed. Could Poe have not done his theatrics at normal hours?” she said. She waved to Finn and Beebee-Ate before she turned on her heel and left the way she came.

Finn watched his friend round the corner and couldn’t get her look out of his head.

\--------

_ After Crait, it took Rose a few days to wake up, Finn was at her side almost the entire time. Thinking about everything they’ve been thorough from Canto Bite to Snoke’s ship to what just happened on Crait. _

_ It took her another few days to get her bearings on everything. Including their kiss. _

_ “Oh Finn, I’m sorry,” she said with her cheeks flushed, “Well. I’m not sorry for saving you. I’m sorry I did that so soon afterwards...I guess,” she finished. _

_ Finn’s stomach dropped at that little confession. He’d never really been in this situation before. He’d never really had the chance too. He did know one thing though, but it wasn’t something he knew how to put into words. _

_ “Listen Rose…” he had started, already knowing that was a big mistake. Rose’s face dropped at his tone. She bit her lip. _

_ “You don’t have to say it, Finn, I didn’t mean to push you like that-” she said. _

_ “No! Rose it’s not that I don’t like you. We’ve established that I, in fact, owe you my life, it’s just...I’m not interested in...I don’t know how to explain it,” he said, he tried to plead with her using his eyes but he also found he couldn’t look directly at her. _

_ That’s when he could first feel it. Rose sat across from him without saying a word, but he could feel the confusion and sadness in her. He felt the alarm in him rise. It felt like he was invading her space and he didn’t know how to stop it. _

_ He racked his brain to make her understand, he sighed, “When I was a trooper. I was the head of a fire team. Me and three others,” he started, getting Rose attention, “One of my squad, FN-2003, we called him Slip. He...we were...closer than we should’ve been,” Finn explained. He saw the realization click in Rose immediately. Finn smiled, even still recovering, she was smart. “He died the night I, defected,” he said quietly. He heard her gasp and reach out a hand and place it on his knee. _

_ Finn looked at her hand and placed his own on top of it, “It was stupid to get involved with him, I know. It put both of us in danger of some higher command finding out and sending up to reconditioning. But still…” _

_ “You can’t help it,” she whispered. Finn looked at her and nodded. _

_ “So you see, Rose, It’s not about you, really! I just-” _

_ “Finn, please. You look like you’re about to faint trying to explain this,” she said as she smiled at him. He saw that the pain in her eyes there a moment ago seemed to vanish. He let out a sigh of relief, “I understand. You don’t have to explain any more if you don’t want to. Things happened in the heat of the moment,” she paused and gave his knee another squeeze, “Thank you for telling me,” she said. _

_ Finn pulled her into a hug. She groaned at first as he squeezed her not totally healed body tight, but she eventually hugged back with as much force as she could. _

\------

Finn loved that memory. Everything him and Rose had been through since then just makes him feel all the more grateful for her friendship and understanding.

She wasn’t one to blab his secrets to the Resistance either, another thing he was grateful for.

Since then only Rey was the other to know. She approached him one night late at camp with a bottle of some heinous alien ale and they drank it all in the middle of the forest. It kinda just came out from the liquid courage. She smiled and nodded with a twinkle in her eye that Finn thought maybe she already knew but didn’t want to say anything until he was ready. It was overwhelming, the love he had for his friends.

He still thought about FN-2003 from time to time. He wished he had a better name for him than Slip. He thought that maybe if he hadn’t died on Jakku that night they could’ve run away together. Started and actual life. Finn knew that was a tall order, and the reality was if he approached Slip about it, the man wouldn’t have hesitated about turning him in for desertion charges. Still he wished that maybe it would’ve worked out. If only so Finn wouldn’t feel as lonely as he did sometimes.

But then, he thought, he wouldn’t be here. With Poe. With Rose.

_ With Poe… _

Poe was a new can of worms, Finn figured out. The way he looked at him when they reunited on D’Qar and insisted he keep the now tattered jacket he still kept close by and wore whenever he could. He didn’t know what the gesture meant but it didn’t stop Finn from growing hot whenever he thought about it. During the fighting, he didn’t have a chance to think about anything else but the war. He let his thoughts drift to Poe only in the dead of night but when he did think of him it became too overwhelming and scary that Finn just shut it out. It was easy when they were apart, but together…

Finn was always very aware of when Poe was in the same room as him. He could feel it instantly, he laughs to himself for a moment. He realized now that might’ve been the Force inside him all along, yelling at him about the man across the room that made his stomach leap and head a little fuzzy.

Even now thinking about it with no one around Finn still blushed. He had it bad, he knew, but he didn’t know what to do about it. So he let it stagnate at the bottom of his brain as best he could. After all, he had more important matters to attend to, like rebuilding a whole galaxy.

Beebee-Ate chirped loudly up at him. He’s been standing in the hall for probably too long now. He sighed and tapped him with his foot. “C’mon buddy we should go to bed too,” he said.

Beebee-Ate started down the hall and Finn rushed to catch up with the speedy little droid.

Finn reached Poe’s quarters first as Beebee-Ate looked up at him. The man smiled and rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door for him.

Beebee-Ate rolled in and stopped short of his charging station and beeped something at Finn.

Finn still couldn’t completely understand binary, but he’d picked up enough since spending time with the droid that he knew what he was asking.

“No, Beebee, that’s weird,” he said, “I can bring your charging station into my quarters if you want?”

It was a weird compromise, but the other option was sleeping in Poe’s bed when he wasn’t here, which seemed too intimate for Finn to handle right now. Maybe if things were different between them, but not now.

Beebee-Ate beeped his agreement and Finn groaned as he picked up the deceptively heavy charging station and lugged it to his room. Suddenly, he wished he took the droid up on his proposal.

After about ten more minutes of getting the room situated for Beebee, Finn settled into bed. He stared up at the ceiling until his eyes begged to be closed. Once they were he saw Poe’s face behind his eyelids. Finn desperately tried to shut off his brain.

The next day came too soon as there was a knock on Finn’s door. He shuffled around as he tried to make himself look decent for whoever waited for him.

He opened to see...Zorii?

She looked at him with a slight twinkle in her eye as she looked behind him.

“Oh, I thought Poe would be in here. I knocked on his door but no answer,” she said.

Finn almost choked on his breath as he stifled a cough. It was too early for this.

“He’s took off last night to...somewhere. Why, uh, were you looking for him,” Finn said.

Zorii smiled as she looked Finn over. There was something about the woman that he couldn’t place. She had the same spark of stubborness Poe had, but she was more smart about it. Maybe that was it.

“I just got back from Brentaal and thought i’d debrief with Poe and you. Where did he go?” she said.

Zorii had been in and out of here the past few weeks. She wouldn’t commit to being tied down to actually helping the Republic Navy, which Finn suspected Poe knew, but she said she’d help them personally however she can. Which they both were grateful for.

She had been sent to Brentaal to see how the trade routes held up after all the fighting. It was a good planet to have on their side to help the distribution of supplies to surrounding people in need.

Finn ignored her question as he slipped on shoes, “We can talk over breakfast. Are you hungry,” he said. He felt her eyes cross examine him as he walked in front of her towards the kitchen. He really didn’t want to talk to Zorii about this until Poe got back, but he  _ didn’t know _ when that would be.

_ ‘What an asshole’ _ he thought.

Finn sat and poked at his food as he half-listened to Zorii’s report. As suspected, Brentaal was still intact and thriving. Finn suspected that the harsh climate and the importance of trade made it hard to be taken over by either side during the war so it was still practically untouched.

“It’s gonna be hard to negotiate anything with them still though. They’re a bunch of hardasses over there that only care about their sales and what the product is good for...where did you say Poe was again,” Zorii said.

Finn groaned. She wouldn’t let that go huh, “I don’t know where he went,” he said finally.

Zorii looked at him was surprised eyes and raised an eyebrow as if asking him to continue.

“He left late last night. He said there was just something he had to do and he’d be back in a few days. That’s all I know,” he explained.

Zorii’s expression softened as she realized this wasn’t entirely a joke. Poe really did just leave and didn’t tell Finn where he was going. She let out a small laugh, “what an asshole.”

Finn couldn’t help but smile when she vocalized his thoughts exactly. He nodded, “tell me about it.”

She hummed in thought, “He must’ve got the feeling I was coming back huh?” she said as she gave Finn a wink.

“Like the Force?” he asked.

“Like the my-ex-is-in-the-area feeling,” she laughed.

Finn laughed with her. He knew that wasn’t it. If anything, Finn thought Poe enjoyed her company whenever she came around. He always looked a little lighter as they reminisce on the old memories. Good and bad.

However, he did know that Poe, though he wouldn’t ever admit to anyone, felt responsible for what happened on Kijimi. How he thought he killed Zorii after she helped them. Seeing Zorii again after that must’ve have conflicted Poe to his core.

“That’s not it, well not entirely,” Finn said.

“Oh? Is something going on?” Zorii asked, he posture straightened as she gave Finn her attention.

_ ‘She worries about him too’  _ he thought, Finn could feel it. “He’s just hasn’t been himself the past month or so. After the war, the celebrations, the funerals, the relocating. I think it’s finally hitting him. Hitting all of us, but him especially. He lost…”

“Leia,” Zorii said quietly. Finn nodded. She sighed, “I didn’t ever know her, but they way he talked about her made me feel like she was my best friend,” she said with a smile. A moment of silence fell between them, then Zorii spoke again, looking Finn straight in the eye, “he’s always been a pretty tough shell to crack, Poe. He’s a good man, but he doesn’t give himself any credit. He’d be the first in line to die if it meant he saved hundreds,” she said.

All Finn could do was nod. It’s like he suddenly remembered just how long they’d known each other, and how close they were. Before Finn could stop himself, he asked, “How long were you two…,” he couldn’t finish.

A smile formed on Zorii’s face again and that same mischievous twinkle in her eye from before was back. “A few good months; couple bad ones,” she said, “We were bad for each other from the start, but you’ve seen him, he’s not exactly ugly. And he was probably the only guy on all of Kijimi that wasn’t a scumbag. Or actively trying to kill me.”

Finn looked at her. Only Poe could date a woman like Zorii and come out the other end not only alive, but still good friends with her.

He shook his head, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t pry,” he said.

Zorii laughed and waved her hand, “Please, Finn, it’s fine. I have plenty of embarrassing stories I can tell you about him if you want,” she said. She paused, Finn had a feeling he wasn’t going to like the next sentence to come out of her mouth, “Plus it’s only natural to want to know about the guy you want to date’s history, right?”

Finn was correct in his feeling. Nevertheless, he took a sip of water and choked at Zorii’s nonchalant statement. A few people also seated in the kitchen gave him a look. He face burned with humiliation. Zorii looked utterly pleased.

“I don’t-How did you-we’re not-he’s not,” Finn tried to form a sentence while his brain begged for him to stop talking.

“Kinda my whole deal is people watching. It is why you acquire my services correct? I’ve watched you and Poe. Although it doesn’t take someone with even half of my skills to see it,” she said.

Finn didn’t know what to say. He looked down at his hands as he twiddled his thumbs in circles. Zorii grabbed his wrist which made Finn look to her. Her eyes were soft again, “I’m not stupid, Finn. Neither is Poe,” she gave his wrist a squeeze, “Neither are you. Trust in the Force, or whatever it is inside you,” she said.

“How did you know I-”

“Oh please it was the only thing he could talk about the last time we spoke. I almost just shut off my comms and see how long it would’ve taken for him to notice,” Zorii interrupted.

Finn’s stomach flipped. He really wished it would stop doing that.

“So I say,” she said again, “when he gets back from wherever. You take your chance. The two of you have been through too much not embrace what you have in front of you,”

Finn felt her sadness as he took in her words. She missed Kijimi in it’s twisted way, he felt. She missed the few friends she had there. Finn’s heart ached at the pain she was masking so well.

Like it ached for Poe’s pain too.

He wished his friends didn’t hurt as deep they did.

They stayed and talked about different things for another hour or so before she claimed she had to leave. Too long inside government adjacent walls made her uneasy, she said.

Finn realized this was the longest he’s actually talked to Zorii since they’ve met, which considering how they met, surprised him.

She reached out a hand as they stood by her ship, but Finn leaned in and hugged her. She stiffened at first but then eased into the contact and returned the gesture.

“Safe travels, Zorii,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said. She turned and loaded into the cockpit of her ship, “good luck,” she said with a wink and a mock salute as she took off into the sky.

Finn sighed. He was alone in the Docking Bay. He looked around. The X-Wing sized hole was still there. He shook his head and left the room. He had duties to attend to.

He tried to not seem as miserable as he felt for the next two days with Poe still nowhere to be seen, but it was hard. He kept thinking about his conversation with Zorii and what she implied. She seemed so sure that he should just...go for it but that was easier said than done. And easier for her to say when it wasn’t her heart and wellbeing on the line.

If he put himself out there and was denied it’d spell disaster for all aspects of his life. His friend, his job, all of it.

No, what they were doing now was too important to get distracted by personal things such as this. The galaxy was still counting on them to pick up the pieces. Finn decided it’s for the best.

No matter how much that made his heart ache.

It was halfway through the third day when Finn heard it-no-felt it. Poe was back. He felt him coming in to land before he heard the roar of the x-wing. It was just like him to return while Finn was in a meeting and couldn’t immediately be there to check if he was okay. See where he went or what he did.

He didn’t listen to anything else the rest of the meeting.

Finally, after Finn cordially excused himself after the meeting he rushed to Poe’s quarters. Rose saw him practically sprinting towards her. “He’s back but I guess you already know that!” she yelled as he flew past.

He stopped at Poe’s door, suddenly unsure of what to do. He checked himself over, smoothing out any wrinkles on his clothes as best he could. He realized his palms were sweaty. He groaned, ‘ _ pull yourself together idiot’ _ he thought.

Finally, he knocked.   
  
“Come in,” he heard Poe’s voice say.

Finn pushed opened the door and the two looked at each other. Finn looked him over. He looked exactly the same as when he left. No noticeable cuts or scars, except...

“You...feel better,” Finn said. The cloud that seemed to loom over Poe’s head these days was gone. Finn felt the slight peace that flowed through him. He could still feel it, somewhere in the depths of Poe, but for now it was at bay and that made Finn happy.

Poe nodded his head.

Finn’s eyes shifted to the new piece of cloth on his bed, “Where’s that blanket from?” he asked.

Poe stood from his bed, “Tell you all about it over dinner. I’m starving,” he said as he rubbed his hands together.

Finn just followed him down the hallway to the kitchen as Poe explained everything. How he went home. To Yavin 4. He apparently grew up with a force tree in his backyard, which FInn didn’t even know existed. He pictured Poe as a child playing under it, and now as an adult talking to it. The soft look on his face and the way his fingers kept playing with the ring around his neck as he talked about it all almost made Finn break right then and there. He wanted to soak up everything about Poe and his past as they planned the future.

He knew then that the deal he made with himself earlier to not disrupt anything between them for the greater good was now out the window.

They ate and drank, with Rose and Beebee-Ate joining them throughout the night before the all realized what the time was.

“You better get some sleep, Dameron, you’ve got all those meetings to make up for that you missed,” Finn said, “Maybe it’s my turn to go off planet for an undisclosed amount of time.”

Poe laughed as he lazily swung an arm around Finn’s shoulder, “Buddy you’ve definitely earned it for putting up with me all this time,” Poe said. There was an edge of somberness to his voice that made Finn’s throat tight. They looked at each other for a moment.

Rose cleared her throat, giving Finn a stern look, “I’m going to go to bed. I’ll see you two in the morning. It’s good to have you back, Poe.”

As she left she gave Poe’s arm a squeeze. Poe nodded stiffly.

Finn could feel the air around them growing somber again. The little cloud that dissipated over Poe already returning. And there was something else…

“I, uh, moved Beebee-Ate’s charging port into my quarters while you were gone. I guess I need to give it back to you,” Finn said.

“Finn that thing’s like sixty pounds,” Poe said, the tone of his voice somewhere between impressed and scoulding.

Finn shrugged, “It wasn’t a big deal,”

Beebee-Ate chirped something up at Poe that made him blush as he looked away from Finn and down at the droid. “Well we better go get it then. Beebee here is tired I think,” he said.

Finn nodded as he followed Poe back to his quarters. Finn opened his door and got the charging station. He struggled to carry is and Poe gave him a look as if to ask if he was okay. “I got it. I’ve done it once already,” he said. Poe just shook his head but let a smile appear on hos face. Finn returned it.

The charging station was back in it’s rightful spot on Poe’s floor and Beebee-Ate twirled and immediately got on and shut down. Poe shook his head, “I think i’m officially raising a teenaged droid. All he does is complain and sleep,” he said.

“How that so much different than you?” Finn asked. The look on Poe’s face made Finn break into laughter, Poe soon following.

They stood in the middle of the room for a moment, Finn again struck with the notion of not knowing what to do. His heart screamed at him to do one thing while his brain said the other.

He closed his eyes and took a breath as he tried to listen to them both. He tried to find a balance. Suddenly, the man smiled.

“Uh...Finn you okay there buddy?” Poe asked from across the room. Finn looked at him and nodded, he walked closer.

Poe eyed his suspiciously but didn’t step away as Finn kept coming forward.

Now they stood only a few feet apart. Finn searched Poe’s face for anything that would tell him to turn back now.

There wasn’t any.

So Finn leaned in and pressed his lips to Poe’s. He placed a hand on his neck to deepen it just enough.

The kiss was soft and gentle as Finn eased Poe into it. Once Poe had his bearings though, he placed on hand on the back of Finn’s head and the other down on his hip to pull him in that much closer.

They stood there and kissed for some time. Their hands moved to other parts of each other’s bodies, but nothing to urgent was happening. Finn thought they were maybe just making up for lost time and right now just doing this was enough.

Finn pulled away first which led Poe to go after his lips for one more quick peck before straightening himself up. Finn examined his darkened lips and flushed cheeks and felt perhaps too proud with how blissful he looked right now.

“I’ve...wanted to do that for a long time now,” Finn said.

“I’ve, uh, wanted you to do that for a long time now,” Poe said back. Finn let out a small breath at that. It was the validation he didn’t know he needed. Even after Poe’s obvious positive response to his advance Finn felt like maybe it was just because of his emotion filled trip home and he needed to get it out somehow. Knowing this was something Poe wanted already just made it that much more fulfilling.

Finn gave Poe a smile and winked as he went to leave. Poe grabbed his arm, “wait wait wait you can’t leave after pulling something like that, stud,” he said.

Finn laughed as he gently removed himself from Poe’s grasp, “Consider this payback for leaving me here to deal with all the bureaucrats alone for three days, Dameron,” he said.

Poe kissed him now. Still soft and sweet but with a little more intensity as Finn’s first ones. He pulled away again and shook his head with a smile, “Sorry. You’re not getting off that easy,” he took Poe’s hand and squeezed it, “We’ll talk tomorrow. Goodnight, Poe.”

He walked towards Poe door and looked back at the man still standing in the middle of the room with a look of adoration on his face as he tried to look as mock hurt as he good before giving Finn a smile, “Goodnight, General,” he said with a wink.

As Finn walked back to his room he couldn’t help but smile and think about what this meant for him and Poe.

He thought briefly of Slip and what it felt like when they kissed. Nothing like what just happened in there, that’s for sure.

He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. When his eyes again begged for sleep he finally obeyed, he rolled onto his side and drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.


	2. it's brighter now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new beginnings for old friends

When Finn told Poe they'd talk tomorrow he really did mean it.

But now it  _ was  _ tomorrow and Finn didn't know how to talk to Poe like a normal person.

He woke up early and paced his room as he thought about their kiss from last night. How amazing it felt. How his skin still buzzed in the places Poe touched him. Finn felt good.  _ Better  _ than good.

But the thought of actually talking to Poe about it was a whole different monster.

The floodgates were opened and he was caught in the current. Unless, of course, after they talked about it and decided that’s what was for the best is that they leave whatever happened last night dead in the water and focus on their important jobs. In the end, he’d respect whatever Poe wanted to do because he knew the man would say the same to him.

Finn just hoped he’d get a chance to kiss him again.

He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He knew he was going to worry himself sick until this was resolved but he still thinks of all the ways he can avoid Poe today anyway.

He heard a knock at his door and he gulped, then wiped his hands on his pants. He slowly walked up to the door and hovered a hand over the keypad. He braced himself.

He didn't expect Rose to be the one standing there and when he let out a sigh of relief she looked at him with a twisted expression.

"You okay there?" she asked.

Finn nodded, "I'm good. Yeah-I'm good. Just didn't expect to see you. What's up?" he stammered out.

Rose's face turned from confused to amused as she watched Finn squirm.

"Oh well who were you expecting exactly? Could it be our brooding General?" she asked, her eyebrows rose innocently.

Finn brought a hand to his face, "Please don't do this right now," he said.

Rose smiled, "Do what? I'm just asking-"

"We kissed," Finn said, more like shouted to her, he checked to see if anyone was in the hallway, "last night," he finished. Rose's eyes widened and a smile lit up her face. She looked like she was about to congratulate him but instead she punched him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Finn asked.

Rose made her way into Finn's room. The door shut behind her.

She looked around as if searching for clues. When nothing looked out the ordinary she turned to him.

"I'm guessing it wasn't anything more than a kiss then?" she asked.

"A few kisses actually," Finn said as his cheeks flushed, "but yeah nothing much more than that."

Rose playfully gagged before giving Finn an intense look that he knew was setting up for a semi-serious conversation. He imagined it would be good practice for later.

"What does that mean for you two then?"

Finn sighed as he moved back towards his bed, sitting on it, "I don't know. I told him we'd talk about it but..." he trailed off. Rose came and sat beside him and put a hand on his knee. Finn continued, "I'm worried he’ll say he regretted it. Or I say the wrong thing and he misunderstands. I know we’d respect each others wishes whatever they may be but I just want them to be the same thing.”

Rose placed a kiss on the side of his head and forced him to look at her, “You two will figure it out. Both of you have too big of hearts to leave this on a bad note” she said. Finn smiled at that. He remembered a time when he was taught that emotions were signs of weakness. Now he spent his time with people who wore their heart almost dangerously on their sleeves and talked about every emotion under the sun that flowed through them.

They changed the subject back to work and what all needed to be done before the arrival of  _ more _ delegates from  _ more _ systems. It would usually bore Finn to tears but it was a nice distraction from the current conflict at hand.

After a while Rose rose from the bed and stretched her body.

“I have a meeting I have to go to now,” she said, Finn started to become tense again. She looked at him with kind eyes, “hey, Finn, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

Finn nodded. He admired how confident she was.

“Thanks, Rose,” he said.

She smiled, “If he hurts you I can stun him. You more than anyone knows of my capabilities,” she said as she laughed.

Finn shuddered at the memory and shook his head with a small smile on his lips as she exited. He sighed and tried to get ready for whatever the day was to bring.

\---

The morning dragged on and the never ending meeting they were in was finally dismissed and Finn groaned his thanks. He thought debriefing missions for the Resistance were unnecessarily long sometimes; these meetings during supposed peace time seemed to go on even longer.

He heard a voice from beside him, "You could look a little less relieved that it's over, buddy," Poe said.

Finn jumped and cleared his throat, "I just didn't realize we could spend so long talking about what color to make a new plaque for the statues outside the senate."

Poe laughed and slapped a hand on Finn's shoulder, "We're in the world of democracy now. The only thing that truly matters to some of these people are appearances," he said.

Finn was now acutely aware of the hand on his shoulder as he and Poe looked at each other. The air suddenly grew tense. As if Poe felt it too he reeled his hand back and placed it at his side. He shoved his hands in his pocket and cleared his throat. Finn focused on the way his adam's apple moved up and down when he did.

"So, we should talk?" Poe said; his voice low and quiet in an attempt to not break the fragility of the little bubble they put around themselves last night. He took a step towards Finn, who began to brace himself.

Finn was about to respond before he was overcome with a sense of  _ something  _ coming from the front of the building. His eyes went wide as a big smile spread across his face.

"Woah I know that look. What's going on?" Poe asked.

"It's Rey! Rey's here!" Finn said. Poe matched his surprised but elated expression. It's been months since they've seen her. After coming back from Tatooine she said she wanted to go help people in all different areas that were affected by the war. She wanted to show them the goodness of the Force and the light.

\---

_ "The Jedi were expected to keep the peace all those years ago. I want people to know they can still believe that," she had told them the day before she left. Finn's heart ached. He wished he'd be able to go with her but she said no. _

_ "You're needed here, Finn," she said as she grabbed his hand and squeezed, "Poe made you General for a reason. Help rebuild from here. This is something I need to do alone." _

\---

Finn worried about her everyday. He was afraid he'd get the same crushing feeling he did back on Exogol when she had died. He never did though, and now he felt her life force buzzing through the halls here on Naboo. He moved to go find her before he stopped and turned back to Poe who watched him carefully.

"Except we do need to talk. We should talk right now. Rey can-"

Before Finn could finish someone yelled for Poe down the hall. Poe shut his eyes and let out a frustrated laugh. He looked back at Finn and took his wrist and squeezed, "Looks like it'll have to wait anyway, General," he said with a wink, "go see Rey. Tell her I say hi. We'll find each other later," he said. He rubbed a thumb up Finn's wrist gently before letting go and off in the direction of the voice. It took Finn another moment before he let out a deep breath and shook his head and went to go find Rey.

He found her in the foyer locked in a hug with Rose, Beebee-Ate twirling at their feet. A smile broke out onto his face as he all but sprinted towards her.

“Rey!” he yelled. The two women turned and faced him. Rey met him halfway and they almost fell over with the force of their hug, “You’re back,” Finn said, “I missed you.”

They pulled apart and Rey looked him up and down, “Look at you,  _ General _ . This life suits you, Finn," she said.

He nodded, "thank you."

A smile crept on her face, "Where's Poe?"

Finn noticed Rose stifle a laugh. He blushed, "he was pulled away to do something. He says hi though," he said quickly. 

Rey stared at him for a second longer before she nodded, “I’m sure I’ll run into him sooner or later,” she said.

The three of them stood around for another moment before Rose cleared her throat, "I'll let you two catch up, c'mon Beebee," she said. The droid beeped in protest before looking between Finn and Rey; who gave him a stern look. He rolled away with Rose.

Finn and Rey hugged again before they walked down the hallway; arms interlocked with another.

They sat in the kitchen and Rey started to talk about all the different worlds she's been to already and how welcoming they've been. She talked about how she's tried to help each one as much as she could. Finn's heart felt light as he watched her talk about it all. He wished he was able to be there with her. He spent so much of his life tearing colonies like the ones she described apart. He wanted to be there to help put them back together. It was the least he could do.

Rey grabbed his hand as if to pull him from his thoughts, "There's more than one way to rebuild. Your work here is just as important," she said.

Finn thought back to the meeting he had earlier, "is it? All these people care about is how good they look compared to everyone else. It's sickening," he said, "if I knew it was gonna be like this I would've never..." he trailed.

He didn't know what to say. He's never regretted taking the General position. He doesn't regret doing this alongside Poe. He guessed that given a chance he'd say yes to Poe every time. In most things.

"I just miss you," he said, voice low. 

Rey squeezed his hand and smiled at him, "I miss you too," she said. Then her expression turned sly and Finn eyed her carefully, "but I feel like if you went with me. You'd miss the people here more," she said.

Finn blushed, "did Rose already tell you," he asked. It didn't make much sense to walk around the subject, and Finn found himself wanting to talk about it with Rey anyway. She always made him feel calm.

"She did, but one look at you and I would've guessed it anyway," she said with a smile, "how are you feeling?"

He sat and thought over the question. In all honesty: he felt good about what happened. He felt confident that Poe felt the same, but there was still that part of him that thought he didn't, and it was hard to drown out.

"I feel...confused," he said finally. Rey gave him a sympathetic look as he continued, "This is just all so confusing," he mumbled.

Rey laughed and rolled her eyes, "I see his brooding has rubbed off on you," she said.   


He laughed, “Maybe,” he said.

“Have you gotten to talk to him about it yet?”

“No, today’s just been so busy. It’s always so busy,” he said, “it just happened last night I don’t know what to even say.”

Rey leaned back and took a breath, “Believe me when I tell you there’s nothing you have to worry about,” she said.

“Everyone keeps saying that,” he said with a bit of a bite. Rey was unphased.

“Because it’s true,” she said simply.

Finn thought it all over. He knew she was right. That Zorri and Rose were also right. He was surrounded by people who genuinely seemed to care about both his and Poe’s happiness.

And it gave him hope.

Finn took Rey’s hand again and kissed it with a nod. They went back to talking about work and the rebuilding and all that still needed to be done. For once, Finn welcomed the distraction.

\---

It was well into the night before the two men saw each other again. Poe was waiting outside of Finn’s quarters with Beebee-Ate beside him. The two seemed to be in some sort of discussion that quickly ceased when Poe caught sight of him walking closer.

Beebee-Ate twirled and greeted Finn with happiness. Poe had a blush on his cheeks that Finn politely ignored.

“Hey,” Poe said.

“Hey,” Finn said back.

“You, uh, good to have that talk now,” Poe asked. The look on his face matched the terror Finn was feeling, which actually made him smile. He was just as nervous. That was a good sign right?

Unless Poe’s nerves were coming from a place of him having to let down his friend easy so they wouldn’t disturb their working relationship. Finn suddenly found it hard to talk so he just nodded and led the man into his quarters.

Beebee-Ate did not follow. Finn was a little thankful for that.

The two stood in the dark for a moment as Finn fiddled for the light. His room felt ten times smaller.

They spent another few moments now just looking at each other in silence. Neither dared to move.

“Poe-”

“Finn-”

Both of them laughed and some of the tension in the room lifted. Poe looked at him with soft eyes that made Finn blush. He cleared his throat and took a step closer to Poe. The other man also stepped closer.

“So who talks first?” Poe said with a smirk playing at his lips. Finn just smiled brighter before looking at the ground.

"Look, Poe, about last night I-" Finn started. He looked to see all the admiration and slight amusement in Poe's face. Finn swallowed, "I'm sorry if I overstepped. I shouldn't have done that..." he said. 

Poe didn't say anything at first and after a long quiet moment Finn was about ready to run out of the room. He started to but a hand quickly grabbed his arm and squeezed it.

Poe's voice was low and soft but had a slight rasp to it, "Finn, buddy,  _ I'm _ sorry if I didn't do enough last night to tell you that what you did was more than okay," he said. Poe reached a hand under Finn's chin and his thumb swiped just under his bottom lip. "Whatever you want. I'm in. One hundred percent. Just tell me."

Finn elected to show him instead. Within a second he had his hands on either side of Poe's face and crashed his lips onto his.

There wasn't any delay in Poe's reaction this time as he quickly readjusted himself to grip Finn's hips to tug him closer.

Months of back and forth between the two of them finally gave way in this moment and Finn was reeling. He moved his hands down and twisted a finger absentmindedly into the curls at the nape of Poe's necks, which in turn made the man groan.

They pulled apart only for a moment to breathe and Finn comes back to reality a little bit. He took one of Poe's hands and they walked towards his bed.

They sit and Poe hesitates for a moment as if he wanted to ask something but Finn leans in to kiss him again. 

Poe placed his hands back on Finn's hips. This time he raises the other man's shirt a little to rub his thumbs against his skin. Finn gasps which makes Poe smile into the kiss.

Finn lays back and carries Poe with him as they almost crash into the headboard together. 

They take another moment to situate themselves better. Poe's knees on either side of Finn. He sat up a moment and looked at the wall in front of him. His hands gently placed on Finn's chest. Finn's hands wrap around each of his wrists to get Poe's attention.

This time Poe kissed him. It was long and slow. Finn felt like he was melting into it. Finn tried to pick up the pace again but Poe pulled back slightly; which was a mistake because now Finn moved to his jaw and placed sloppy but firm kisses up and down his jawline before moving to his lips again.

Finn's hands mimicked Poe's from earlier as they reached under his shirt and ran a thumb along his hips. Poe groaned.

He sat up again and grabbed Finn's hands in his own. The other man looked at him in the eyes as he breathed heavily. 

Poe cleared his throat, "Not that this isn't fun, but, Finn, are you sure..." he trailed. Finn felt himself slowly came back to reality as the heaviness of Poe's question fell in the air. 

Poe got off of him and helped him sit up so that they now sat criss crossed from each other. They still held one another's hands. Finn now felt embarrassed under the man's gaze but the motion of Poe's thumb circling the top of his hand calmed him.

"Hey. It's okay. I didn't mean to kill the mood but I don't want you-us to rush into anything," Poe said. He planted a kiss to Finn's knuckle. 

Finn smiled. Poe was so sincere and intense in everything he did; he didn't know why he expected anything different in a situation like this.

But that question wasn't something he saw coming. Now out of his own hormone induced haze he focused on Poe. He sensed the slight hesitation inside him, but he could also sense how much he wanted him; the two feelings at odds with each other.

It echoed almost scarily close to what Finn felt too. Both men were afraid of going too far; even now as they sit on his bed with hands clasped together and swollen lips.

Finn took a deep breath, "Poe I like you. A lot," he blushed, "and I want to be with you. I think I'm just fuzzy on the details of what that means," he thinks of Slip, "past experiences don't really help me figure it out," he said.

Poe pulls him closer and they hug. Finn buried his face into his neck as Poe runs an arm up and down his back; he lightly traces the scar he knows is there. Finn leans into it.

"Finn you're my best friend," Poe started, "And i want to be with you, too. More than friends. We can figure this out together," he said. 

They released each other and Finn felt like crying. A weighted force he felt on his soul lifted as he looked at Poe, who now started to form a small grin on his face. His cheeks were flushed but the familiar twinkle of mischief was in his eye, "I think one thing we have figured out already though is that kissing is nice, yeah?"

Finn laughed and nodded in response as he leaned in again. And again.

They kissed lazily for a few more moments before there was an annoyed beep at the door. Poe laughed and briefly placed his head onto Finn's shoulder.

"I, uh, gotta put my droid to bed," he said. A beat passed between them, "I should probably head to bed too."

"Can you...sleep here," Finn said. His voice was nothing more than a whisper but Poe heard him loud and clear. He winked and nodded his head.

"See you soon," he said as he quickly ran out the room. Finn could hear the muffled noises of Beebee scolding Poe for being up so late. It made him laugh. The droid really was turning into a teen. 

He got ready for bed as he waited for Poe to return. A permanent smile on his face.

A few moments later and Poe was back in a pair of pajamas. Finn's seen him in this state of dress many times before but this time felt different; more intimate. 

The air between them was electric and inviting. The feeling of a new beginning. Finn thought this was probably what it was supposed to feel like. When the person you wanted stood in front of you wanting the same thing. 

They didn't say anything as they climbed into bed. Finn's face to Poe's chest as Poe's arms wrapped around him. His hand again started to instinctively move up and down the lightsaber scar.

He kissed the top of Finn's head, "I'm glad you're still here," he whispered. Finn smiled and placed a light kiss on Poe's chest.

"Me too," he replied.

They laid there for a moment. Finn could feel Poe's breath start to even out as he drifted off, "You know. We kind of have Zorii to thank for this," he said.

Poe snorted, "Really?"

Finn nodded, "she came by when you were gone. And in lighter terms she told me to basically take my chance because we both deserve it," he explained. 

Finn felt Poe smile into his neck and shake his head. 

Then at to sober up, Finn felt the sudden change in Poe's mind. It was a loud change and Finn couldn't ignore the despair that now clouded Poe's mind

Finn knew Poe always struggled to feel like he deserved anything good to happen to him, and since the fight ended that's been tenfold. The guilt that flowed through him was always there; warm slime in his stomach to remind him his part in the destruction. 

He squeezed Poe tighter and tried to crane his neck up to look at him. Poe tried to avoid his gaze.

"She's right you know," Finn said. He got out of The embrace and sat up in bed, "Poe you can't change the past. None of us can. The best any of us can do is to just live. Make sure no one died in vain."

Poe sat up as well and finally looked him in the eye. Finn could feel the disparity he felt slowly drift away. "God she would've loved you," he said.

"Who?" Finn asked.

Poe smiled, "my mother."

Finn blushed as he smiled wide. He leaned in and gave Poe a quick kiss as he laid down again; he pulled Poe with him and they both held onto each other. He felt so safe in this moment as he listened to Poe's breathing grow steady and felt the warmth of his arm draped over his stomach.

They fell asleep together; both finally at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, every day: I'm ace so what if I made Finn ace?
> 
> this was the result.
> 
> *whispers: it's shameless self-projection*
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed! I enjoyed writing this little mini arc and love writing in Finn's POV goodbye.
> 
> Comments and Kudos appreciated as always <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hello it's me a girl who seemingly cannot stop writing about her sad boys.
> 
> Inspiration for this whole thing came from when I was reading Resistance Reborn and Finn mentions how he talked to Rose about their kiss on Crait but didn't go into any more real detail so then I wrote around that lmao.
> 
> Also inspired by the song Running Up That Hill originally by Kate Bush; but the cover by Meg Myers is the version I discovered.
> 
> Also also wanted to write about my other fic, Runaway, in Finn's POV. ( you don't have to read that one to understand this one, obviously, but i'd be very grateful if you read it anyway :D)
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


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